


Tight Twist

by curiouswildflower



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 00:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8182675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiouswildflower/pseuds/curiouswildflower
Summary: Eliza is a medical advocate for a rape crisis center.-“His name is Alexander. He’s 20, he just came in about a half hour ago. Doesn’t remember what happened, but had blood on his thighs and pain in his rear when he woke up. His best friend brought him in.”-(Maria is the nurse. John is not the rapist.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> There is discussion of the procedures of a rape kit and a recent non-con experience. It is not explicit. This is based entirely on personal experience - I have been a medical advocate for just over a year. Please let me know if there's anything you think I should tag to avoid triggering anyone. If you're worried about the content, please message me and I can tell you what happens. This is un-betaed. <3

“His name is Alexander. He’s 20, he just came in about a half hour ago. Doesn’t remember what happened, but had blood on his thighs and pain in his rear when he woke up. His best friend brought him in.”

Eliza nods, jotting down a couple points _Alexander – 20 – doesn’t remember_ “What’s the friend’s name?”

“Says he goes by Lafayette.”

Eliza nods again. She checks her watch to jot down the time and takes a deep breath of the familiar air that always seems to smell like hand sanitizer. She smiles at the nurse – Dollie, they’ve worked together before – and says “Okay, I’ll head in.”

Dollie smiles back at her and opens the door, giving Eliza access to the ER. She continues to breathe deeply as she walks down the hallway, knocks, and lets herself into Room 14.

“Hi, Alexander? Lafayette?”

Two boys look up at her as she enters the room. One on the hospital bed, one in a chair next to him. They look tired, both wearing cozy clothes with dark hair pulled back into buns. She thinks the one on the bed – _Alexander,_ she reminds herself – might even be wearing slippers.

“My name is Eliza,” she says, sitting in the other chair. She notices they’re holding hands. “I work for the rape crisis center. How are you feeling? What’s going on?”

Alexander eyes her warily. “I’m not… great.”

Lafayette smiles little and rubs Alexander’s arm. “Go ahead, mon ami. Tell her.”

Eliza’s heartbeat picks up. “You can tell me as much or as little as you like.”

Alexander glances away, chewing on his lips. “Is your service confidential?”

“Completely.” Eliza says. “I’m what’s called a medical advocate. The nurses, the police – everyone has an agenda here. They want what’s best for you, but they also want to do their job. My entire job is to be a… well, like a megaphone for you. My entire job is to make sure nothing happens that you don’t want, and that you’re completely informed about any decision you make.”

Alexander nods. “I don’t want to talk to the police today.”

Eliza nods back. “Then you don’t have to. The hospital has to call them – that’s the law. But I can make sure that you don’t talk to them.”

A _woosh_ of breath gusts out of Alexander. Lafayette squeezes his hands tighter around Alexander’s where they rest on the bed.

“Alexander?” He meets her eyes. “There’s something else. I want you to know without a doubt – I want to promise you two things. One? I believe you. Whatever you tell me happened, I believe you. And Two? It’s not your fault.”

Alexander’s face twists at that, and he ducks his head. Dark spots appear on his grey sweatpants as he starts to cry. “It’s not your fault, Alexander. Anything that did or didn’t happen, it doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault.”

Eliza takes a deep breath as Alexander begins to cry harder.

“She’s right, mon ami.” Lafayette soothes, rubbing Alexander’s arm again.

Eliza sits back, drawing her long braid over her shoulder and running her fingers through the ends of her hair. She watches quietly as Alexander curls in on himself and Lafayette moves closer to him. After a minute or so of quiet murmuring, Alexander rubs at his eyes and Lafayette settles back into his seat.

“Has the nurse discussed your options with you?”

“I could use a refresher.”

\--

Alexander decides he’s unsure about pressing charges and chooses to have a rape kit done. Eliza mentally starts a stop watch, betting on her past experience that this will take about five hours before Alexander is discharged. She thinks about Lafayette sitting in the waiting room. It’s the best place for him to be, legally, but she says a quick prayer that he has something to keep him busy.

Eliza's pretty sure she’s never worked with this nurse before, because she’d probably remember her. She’s pretty – with her curly dark hair and red lipstick. Eliza doesn’t think she’s ever seen a nurse that wears lipstick.

Alexander had been quiet during the process of stripping off his clothes and having his pubic hair combed. Eliza dutifully keeps her gaze averted, beginning to fill out her paperwork.

He asked to keep his clothes, though he gave over his boxers. Once he’s dressed again and settled back on the hospital bed, she asks, “Are you a student?”

He nods. “I’m a junior. Economics and Political Science double major.”

“Double major?” 

He smiles. “Yeah, I like being busy.”

She hums, marking that he’s a student. “What got you interested in those fields?”

Alexander is quiet for a minute as the nurse explains the next step. He pulls his bun out and uses the comb she hands him to brush out his hair over the paper she unfolds. “I’m not from this country.” Eliza’s glad he’s looking away, because she can’t hide the way her eyebrows raise in surprise. “And while this is a pretty good country to get a new start in, there are ways your government could be more efficient.”

Eliza watches as the nurse folds the comb into the paper and walks away to seal it in the correct bag. “I’d ask you what your ideas are, but I probably wouldn’t know what you were talking about.”

He chuckles at that. “That’s fair. Are you a student?”

She nods, even though he’s still looking away. “Educational administration. I’m a first year graduate student.”

He looks up, his face lighting up more than she’s seen in the hour or so they’ve been together. “My boyfriend is in education too. He’s a junior – biology with secondary ed certification.”

“Lafayette?” she asks.

“No.” He’s quiet again, twisting a silver band on his left pointer finger. The nurse – _Maria,_ Eliza reminds herself for the third time – takes his right hand and explains that she’s going to scrape under his fingernails.

“No, Lafayette’s one of our roommates. John is visiting his sister this weekend.” He gives Maria his other hand when she prompts him to. “I called him on our way in – he’s heading back to the city already. Won’t be here for a couple hours.”

Eliza jots a note on her scratch paper – _oh thank God he told his boyfriend._ “It’s good that he and Lafayette can both support you.”

Alexander nods. “I went out with Lafayette last night. We all had to do this awful project so one of the guys in our class had a party.” He pauses, Eliza waits. “I don’t remember a lot of it.”

“That’s fine.” She says. “Remember, I believe you unquestionably.”

Alexander shoves his hair out of his face and huffs. Maria moves away to seal up the little wooden tool she used to scrape his nails. “I was stupid. Isn’t the number one rule of house parties not to take a drink someone else pours for you?”

Eliza feels a tightness twist in her chest as she watches him look at his legs. She’s done this enough times, she can see his furrowed brow and imagine his racing thoughts as he tries to remember what happened.

“You just told me you went to a party with your friend to celebrate finishing a project.” She leans forward and feels her braid fall across her back as she tilts her head to catch his eyes. “You did not go to this party asking to be raped. Nothing you wore, nothing you drank, nothing you did asked for this. It’s not your fault.”

When Maria asks Alexander to lift his head and open his mouth for the cheek swabs Eliza can see that he’s crying steadily again. The tightness in her chest twists even more as she watches him, trying to allow time for her words to sink in. _God_ she prays _let them sink in._

Maria moves away to package the swabs and Eliza takes her cue to lighten the mood. “Now that she’s swabbed your mouth you can have a drink or something to eat. What would you like? Water, coffee, those weird prepackaged PB&J sandwiches…?” Eliza smiles when Alexander chuckles. 

“Coffee would be great – black is fine. And I’ll take a weird prepackaged sandwich.”

Eliza nods, excusing herself from the room.

\--

The pelvic exam is the hardest part for Eliza to sit through. She knows not to sit where she can see anything intimate, but the medicinal lube makes the room smell weird and her heart aches as she watches the discomfort play across her patient’s face. Tears are still leaking steadily out of Alexander’s eyes as the doctor swabs him, and Eliza wishes she could hold his hand. Maria’s voice is soft and encouraging throughout, and Eliza makes a note on her paper to tell Maria how well she’s doing.

The pelvic exam is one of the last procedures of the kit, over three hours into the process, and the room falls silent once again as the doctor leaves and Maria goes to the counter to seal everything up.

“Can I ask you some questions for my paperwork?” Eliza asks. She hates how blunt these questions are, but she knows it’s good for their data. Alexander nods.

“Gender?”

“Male.”

“Ethnicity?”

“Hispanic.”

“Sexual orientation?”

“Bisexual.”

At least the demographic questions go quickly. He tells her his full name, phone number, and address. When asked, Alexander hesitantly agrees that he would like a counselor from Eliza’s agency to follow up with him. Eliza notices that every minute or so during her questions Alexander checks his phone. She says, “I think we’re almost done?”

Maria turns away from her counter where she was filling out what Eliza knows is the last chunk of paperwork for the kit. “Yeah, almost. Gotta get you registered, your preventative medicines, and your discharge paperwork.” Alexander nods, his shoulders slumping in relief.

He looks at Eliza and explains, “John should be here by now. But I can’t get a signal in here.”

Eliza nods. “He’s probably in the waiting room with Lafayette. I could go check?”

Alexander pauses, then shakes his head. “No, might as well finish up in here.”

Eliza sits back, letting the rest of their time together pass quietly. Events progress just about as Maria explained them – first registration comes to take his information, then another nurse brings the cocktail of prevention meds for various STDs. Alexander continues to sip his coffee and check his phone, and Eliza can’t help but feel restless watching him. When she glances at her watch she sees that they’ve been together for almost five hours, just like she predicted. 

“I didn’t tell John what happened.” Eliza looks over at Alexander, surprised. 

Alexander is looking at his lap, still twisting the ring around his finger. “I told him I was going to the ER because I’d been hurt. I didn’t tell him what happened.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” She says. “You were hurt. You were attacked, Alexander. You can tell him as much or as little as you want about exactly _how_ you were hurt.”

“I can’t tell him exactly how I was hurt. I don’t remember.” Alexander says quietly. He scoffs. “I’m here on a full ride. My intelligence brought me to this school, this country. How could I possibly tell John about how stupid I was tonight?”

The tight twist in Eliza’s chest squeezes sharply. “Alexander. It’s not your fault.”

He looks up at her, and like clockwork, tears begin to pool in his eyes. 

“Please, Alexander. Hear me. No matter what anyone says – hear this. It’s not. Your. Fault.” 

“She’s right.” Maria says, and they both quickly look over at her. “Eliza’s right. This isn’t your fault.”

Alexander rubs at his eyes, exhaling heavily as he tries not to sob. Eliza makes eye contact with Maria, mouthing _thank you._ Maria nods, turning to look at the door as registration comes back in.

“Mr. Hamilton? Here’s your paperwork. You’re all set to go.” Alexander blinks up at the woman and reaches out to take the papers.

“Thank you, Martha.” He says. Eliza blushes, reprimanding herself for never looking at the woman’s name tag.

“Also,” Martha says as she leaves the room, “There’s a very handsome boy out there who seems very worried about you.”

Alexander nods. Maria gives him the go ahead to leave, and Eliza moves to stand outside the door to Room 14 as he walks past her and down the hallway toward the waiting room.

“Good job in there,” Maria says, shutting the door behind her. The sealed up rape kit is bulky in her arms.

“You too,” Eliza responds, “Thank you for being so supportive.”

Maria shrugs. “I was in a bad situation, a while ago. Support helped me a lot when I got out of it. I’m glad you’re around to help, and I’ll always do what I can from my position.”

Eliza nods, thinking over this new information. Now that her patient isn’t in front of her she starts to become more aware of how tired she is and how greasy her hair feels.

“I’d say ‘See you soon’, but I hope I don’t.” Maria teases gently. “At least not professionally.”

Eliza hopes her blush isn’t noticeable. “At least not professionally.” She parrots back.

Maria smiles at her. They turn opposite directions down the hallway, Maria to hand off the kit to the police and Eliza toward the waiting room to head back to her apartment.

She pushes open the doors and her eyes are immediately drawn to the tall, dark figure of Alexander’s friend. _Lafayette._ He stands with his back to her, rubbing his hand on Alexander’s shoulders.

Alexander stands slumped into the arms of a boy about his same height. _John._ John’s freckled arms look firm around Alexander’s shaking back. Their faces are tucked close together, and as Eliza walks past them she notices that John is talking quietly. She just barely hears Alexander murmur back, and she realizes they aren’t speaking in English.

The automatic doors _woosh_ open, and she’s hit with the smell of the flowers planted right outside the waiting room entrance. Eliza takes a deep breath, and feels the tight twist in her chest finally start to unwind.

**Author's Note:**

> Some tid-bits:  
> 1) If you think 5 hours is a long time for a rape kit I promise you all of the ones I've sat in on have taken almost exactly 5 hours. It's a long process.  
> 2) Yes I've sat with a male survivor before.  
> 3) If anyone wants to know about a rape kit or what it's like to be a medical advocate, I'd be happy to talk about it.  
> 4) In my head, yes Alexander tells John what happened and he & Lafayette both work to help Alexander heal from his sexual assault. I have much less experience with the process of healing from a sexual assault, so I have no plans to write anything more to this story.  
> 5) Yes, Martha from registration is Martha Washington.  
> Thank you for reading!  
> <3 Emily


End file.
